bang! bang!

Run for cover, I am shooting bullets...

● I must be dirtying many more clothes than usual. I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN DOING LAUNDRY NONSTOP. I don't know if its all the exercise or what... but I am entirely sick of it. I have NO issue putting it in the washer. But, I hang dry most of my clothes because I don't like colors to fade, sizes to shrink, or fabric to wear. So hanging dry all of these loads of laundry is tedious, I tell you.

● Whole Foods has the most amazing honey roasted peanut butter. Its one of my good problems.

● A not so good problem... I am ADDICTED to fudge pops.

● Is it bad that I have not printed a digital picture since my wedding... 2 years ago? Since then, I've probably taken at least 1000... at least. I am all about taking and tweaking them in Photoshop and using them to bedazzle my various social mediums or to create slideshows. I just feel like I am supposed to print some occasionally. But, then... they'd end up getting no love, sitting in the same box that the other hundreds of photos are currently in. Even my already created albums are hidden away in cabinets and get very limited attention.

● I put on my cute black Reef Flip Flops the other day and immediately smiled at my pretty pink toe(nail)s. Summer is almost here! *Sigh*

● We pulled a tick off of Nala the other day. Do you know how un-fun this is? Poor thing could not understand why her Daddy was manhandling her, holding her down while the Mommy was lighting matches in front of her to only bring that fire stick right to her head. She was VERY well behaved and that bastard of a tick was gone in seconds. Frontline, here we come.

● I am at a good place with my sweatshirt collection. There was a time that I thought I did not have many options and this feeling only intensified when I began working from home and donned sweats more often than anything else. But, over the last few months, I've garnered some incredibly amazing sweatshirts... at great prices, of course.

● In my reality TV world, I am so all done with this Brooke White chick on American Idol. I am over her hem and haw crap. I cannot believe she made it past Carly Smithson but I think Carly's tattooed face husband probably scared the bejesus out of all the conservative American Idol voters. In my best Simon voice "Sorry".

Thats about it in Sarah-land...

my birthday: a photo essay

My birthday month week has been absolutely amazing - even better than last year, the year of 7 cakes. I am not sure what I do to deserve such lavish celebrations (perhaps it is my incessant reminders that start 3 months out) but hell, I am not complaining! Its great.

I am spoiled. This, I know.

It started last weekend with Kevin presenting me with my brand new Wii... which I'd be lying if I said was a complete surprise. Poor Kevin had to deal with Wii-begging for months so, needless to say, I was overjoyed... almost in tears. Kevin never disappoints!!

During the week, I celebrated with various friends and had many wishes sent to me via snail mail, Hallmark.com, MySpace, email, singing telegram, etc. Flattery at its finest.

On Friday, my actual birthday (as if you didn't know), I was woken with a card and yet another gift from Kevin - a brand new Ellsbury tee shirt. (If you don't know what that means, frankly, I don't care.) YAY!!! Queen Jean (my mother, who is staying with us while visiting from Florida) treated me to breakfast... in my kitchen... where she presented me with some fabulous birthday goods - workout clothes, a hair wrap thingy, MONEY, and a super sweet card. Humbling, as usual.

After an endless day of work (broken up by lunch with Kevin), I clocked out at 4pm to get the weekend underway.

With Mom in town, we decided that Friday night, we'd go out to dinner with her and 2 of (3) my siblings at Waterplace Restaurant. One Tanqueray deep and the Queen was the life of the party, hamming it up with the staff and our intimate crew... and planning the presentation of my dessert... with the birthday song, and all. We had a great table, a great server, and a great time.


(Um no, I do not know what I am doing with my hand.)

After dinner, Mom, Kevin, and I continued the party and ventured out to hear some live music - one of Mom's favorite pasttimes. We enjoyed the ambiance, the music, and the heartbreak ending to the 12-inning Red Sox/Devil Rays game. A great time, nonetheless. I love any opportunity to hang with my Mom.



Saturday night was designated as friends and shenanigans night and I planned it would be the night that I cut loose - forget about my 2-month sobriety, my impending half marathon, and my overall healthy mission. I needed to get a little crazy (no, we're never gonna survive, unless), if you will.

I was told to be ready by 6:30pm.

So... I was ready by 6:45pm (fashionably late, naturally) when my first batch of friends arrived at my house... and then kicked me out so they could prepare whatever was in store. B-daddy kindnapped me... to the bar... which involved vodka. My favorite kind of hijacking.

Back at the ranch... we arrived to a slew of "Fiest-ivities". A sombrero and quasi "corsage" attached to me before I could even say Hola mis amigos. A taco station. Wall hangings (muchachos and muchachas). Banners. Dos Equis. Pinatas. Nachos. Pin the tail on the freaking Donkey. Mexican Music. Presents (yay!). Margaritas (don't they know what tequila does to me?... or maybe that was the point). And friends.

They did such an amazing job decorating, planning, cooking, orchestrating... amazing, I tell ya.

Present time was quite a tear jerker. Of course, I was given a Grab Bag (for a Girl) from the Dollar Tree. It was filled with some delectable treats... such as hair elastics, "bling", a stencil, a pencil (unsharpened... score!), bubbles, hair clips, PUFF PAINT. Awesome. It never gets old.


Then, there was this ginormous present and I had absolutely NO idea what to expect. I jokingly asked if it was a new Hoover because it is dog-shedding season and I desperately need a new vacuum. But, you'll never guess what was behind the wrapping...

"You've got to be freakin' kidding me!?" I was shocked. "You guys got me ROCKBAND!?!" I still wasn't convinced that it was actually Rockband... thought maybe they used the box to wrap something else. But no. It was REALLY Rockband.

Holy moly.

I wanted to run downstairs to our newly designated game room, hook it up, and ignore the fact that there is a fiesta happening upstairs... but I resisted. And then I almost cried. My friends are too generous. (Again, not complaining... just sayin!)

But, the night continued...

Pin the tail on the donkey was certainly a highlight (as were white shirts)... especially after a few drinks.





We tried to find a spot for the pinata but after some dog-poop scares... and witnessing Nala do "number 1", the desire to traipse through our lawn dwindled so we just bashed the crap out of it in my basement. CANDY!!!!!!!


A few drinks later, the warriors (aka non-preggos) ventured out to the bar to indulge in some more debauchery, dancing, and nonsense, of course. We had a great time...

posing...


loving...


smiling...


and watching some classic PDA!

(Notice the arrows. 2 seconds before this, they were making out... 3 seconds before this he was grabbing her... and 5 seconds before that, he was hitting on Mel. It could've been you, Mel... it could've been you.)

We really missed the folks that couldn't make it out to the bar but... to be honest, I was thankful we did not continue the party at my house as my Mom is staying with us and I did not want to expose her to the real havoc we tend to wreak. ;) Also, it made for a tremendously relaxing day yesterday. It was a day I spent ignoring all of my challenges. I did not run, I watched TV, I ate all sorts of crap, and in total gluttonous fashion, I lounged on the couch ALL day... without any guilt whatsoever. And to cap it off, my in-laws paid us a late afternoon visit for pizza and a round of Wii Bowling!

A fabulous end to a fabulous weekend.

(p.s. Is it Friday yet?)

self portrait

Don't mind if I do... it is my birthday and all.

Did you find what you were after?
The pain and the laughter brought you to your knees
But if the sun sets you free
You'll be free indeed
She's only happy in the sun...

(Just saying.)

husband portrait

Love.

vurp (EXCUSE me!)

Two nights ago, two of my bestest friends took me out for dinner (to celebrate my impending b-day, naturally) at a great spot in EG, one of my favorites - Cafe Fresco. We went the more caj (shorten casual) route and sat at the bar and ordered apps. A very K-Sarah-B thing to do.

We ordered a bottle of pinot grigio (ofcoursewedid), which clearly was killed in a matter of minutes... c'mon now? 1 bottle, 3 girls... gone. Well, actually, B managed to stay within the 1 bottle parameter but K and I apparently chugged the remainder, slammed our glasses down, and slid the glasses down to the bartender for another round... kidding about the chugging, slamming, and sliding... but we did order another round. For the girl who quit drinking for 2 months and really hasn't been drinking much since quitting the quitting... this was enough wine to have me glowing, slightly slurring, giddy, and maybe slightly dramatic (but only slightly).

The food was delish (Rachel Ray?) - eggplant wedges, crab cakes, strawberry/goat cheese/nutty salad, and a great basilly/cheesey/saucey/grilled pizza. Food, company, wine, service - all fabulous.

Following the indulging, we ventured back to B's amazing new apartment (exposed beams, high ceilings, ambient lighting, amazing!) to continue chit chatting, enjoy each other's company, open my presents!, and drink more wine (obviously). The night was great. I really miss my girlies and I don't see them often enough but... I am finding that it only makes for greater quality when we DO hang out.

So - I wake up yesterday... slightly foggy but generally OK. Just OK. I did not feel spring fresh, jumping out of bed... or anything close. It was more of a mumble-grumble-pry-myself-up motion. I peeled myself away from the bed and into the bathroom to brush the teeth. I glanced in the mirror.

Holy hell. Racoon eyes, hair a frazzled disaster, lines on the face. Awesome.

Brushing my teeth seemed useless. I could not get the taste of day old wine and crab cake/eggplant/garlic out of my mouth no matter how long or hard I brushed. Gargle gargle, paa tooeey! Spit mouthwash into sink. Taste still there. Blech. I chugged some water. Took 2 Excedrin. Gulped a b-vitamin enriched smoothtastic beverage. Taste STILL there. Ugh.

I headed out to the gym. With less than 2 weeks to the half marathon... everyday counts and I cannot skip a training day because of a hangover-ish feeling.

The. Run. Was. Hell. Chugga chug I went on the treadmill. Oozing out alcohol and any remaining garlic, smelling like a champ. Towards the very end of my struggle-of-a-run, I was so mad at myself for indulging in too much wine that I bumped up my speed and sprinted for a good chunk of time (read: 2 minutes). I would not be outdone by Cafe Fresco and girltime shenanigans. As I neared the end of my 5 mile session with hell run... I had this overwhelming feeling of quease in my stomach. It was sort of heartburn-esque, like the feeling you get when you take vitamins on an empty stomach. Yucka.

When it was over, I stopped the treadmill and stood stretching my dehydrated calves. And then... I vurped. My body convulsed a little and I shuddered it away. Mother truckin' nasty. I walked out of the gym barely composed, probably a little green (it was earth day and all)... and quite surprised that I had made it through my run without actually... you know.

But... the pain was worth it. I had a great time with my chicas and still managed to power through my run.

earth day

I love April. Its my birthday month (reminder: t-minus 3 days). Its the beginning of Spring. Its the celebration of Earth and life.

In honor of Mother lovin Earth, I'd like to share with you... my big bad green self and recap what I have done to become more earth-friendly. I really haven't gotten to this challenge full on yet. But, we are baby stepping towards progress (without really trying). And, Kevin is like Captain Organic over here so by proximity, I am sort of greener.

-> Grocery bags - we have been using canvas bags for a couple of years now. My challenge is in REMEMBERING to bring them with me to the grocery store. They always wind up in Kevin's car or the house and I only remember as I am in the checkout line. Doh!
-> Local produce - this summer I am really going to get into this Locavore concept... to some degree. But, even in the last year, we've really tried to adopt a more locally grown lifestyle. It helps that our neighbor is a tremendous farmer and provides us with eggs and vegetables almost daily in the summer.
-> Organics - this is pretty easy these days.
-> Recylcing - we recycle anything and everything. It really cuts down on our trash consumption.
-> Cleaning products - I've started to buy more "eco-friendly" cleaning products but... I have a tough time with this because nothing cleans like Clorox. So, I am striving to become more comfortable and to find stronger, earth friendly varieties.

What I have not done that is on my list...
-> Water bottles - we need to find a way to drink bottled water but limit our consumption of jugs and plastic bottles. We're thinking delivery service might be the best bet for us...
-> Light bulbs - we'd like to transition all of our light bulbs to energy efficient bulbs.
-> Composting - may sound gross but... we throw away so much food... not necessarily wasting food but peels from oranges or vegetable skins or parts. We are going to start composting this summer.
-> More locally grown produce - this summer, I am going to try my best to only buy produce that is locally grown (from farmers markets and what not). Thats challenge #4.

Anyway - thats us... trying to do our part in cleaning up our act on this globey globe.

Happy big blue and green Mother Earth day!

pooch portrait

Happy Friday!

Randomness

-> Its sunny today. The kind of sunny that makes even the gloomiest of hours seem refreshed. The kind of sunny that you KNOW you have to bask in just for a few minutes during the day. Put your head towards her, close your eyes, outstretch arms, and soak her in.

-> I started taking Flaxseed Oil pills and I am not sure why. I've read about benefits of Omega-3 and heart health and how it is also good for working out. But, mostly, I don't really know why I am taking it. I'll probably be done taking them next week because I am not good at taking vitamins or pills on a regular basis.

-> If I hear Higher and Higher by Michael McDonald one more time this week, I might throw my super cheapass radio right out the window (and then run outside, pick it up, and put it in the trash because I don't litter).

-> I've realized that I am pretty obsessed with calf raises. I'll stop a quarter way up the stairs just to do a set... like everytime I go up the stairs. I am looking to get some Popeye calves, apparently.

-> I keep meaning to Google this "Oh lo" thing that some of the contestants on American Idol continuously say. But, I keep forgetting.

-> The calendar on my desk reads 2.20.08. I've never been good at keeping up with calendars. And, this happens to be a sex position calendar (that I got at a Gag Yankee Swap) and I just like the title of the position for 2.20.08: "So you liked the lasagna". (You're on you own in figuring that out.)

-> I've drank 30 ounces of water already today and its only 8am.

-> I've also peed about 3 times.

-> I am really nervous about my soccer game tonight. These girls we are playing are vicious and I am too old for viciousness. Actually, I've never been young enough for viciousness... maybe its more that THEY are also too old to BE vicious. And its RECREATIONAL soccer. No scouts in the stands. Chillax.

-> I am going to buy new jeans this weekend. Well, I am going to shop for them. Hopefully I'll buy them. But I am VERY picky with jeans. Very.

-> Its my birthday next week and I am not as excited as I usually am. We have a week full of fun plans and my Mom is coming to stay with us (yippee!) but, I am just not that excited. Maybe the fact that its the last birthday in my twenties is really saddening me, deep down and stuff. But, I can't wait to go out with all of my favorite peeps. What shall I wear? New jeans, perhaps.

-> In my "what do I want to be when I grow up" thoughts this week - I want to be a trainer. Like a personal trainer. For the elderly. And maybe new mommies. Those that are not as able. I feel like I would be good and patient with those folks.

-> Speaking OF, I am depressed that this season of Biggest Loser is over. I was really attached to those contestants and am going to miss them. And, I'll miss Bob and Jillian in between seasons phase.

-> I NEED A COFFEEEEEEEEEE

Red Carpet or... Gym?

Most would agree that running is the most primitive form of exercise. It requires no machine outside of the human body and no arena greater than land or surface. Sure, shoes and sports bras make it more comfortable but ultimately, you could run without (just please warn us all).

Swimming requires water. Cycling requires wheels. Sports require equipment (balls, anyone?). There are, of course, calisthenics and yoga and those sort of bare-necessity exercises that are also low-maintenance but I am talking good clean cardio.

Running is the oldest, simplest, and arguably the most effective form of physical activity.

That being said, I find it amazing how fashion-forward running attire is. Gone are the days of running in your [insert man in your life's name]'s mesh shorts and a promo tee shirt (which you scored at the bar the night before, of course). The technical performance and style of today's running duds are uber advanced.

And, being the little hipster that I am... I will not be outdone by any of my gym cohorts.

I... am addicted to running gear. A sad addiction for the 2 hours per day that I get to indulge and share it with... no one.

Its becoming a PROBLEM. You think you're obsessed with shoes or purses or jeans. At least you can take your material obsession with you to a cool event or work or somewhere where someone will appreciate it.

You would not believe the lengths I go to to find the perfect balance of comfort and style when getting ready for the gym. As a running gear addict, I have many drawers full of workout, running, and sweat gear so my options are plentiful and sometimes overwhelming. On any given day, it can take me 3 or 4 wardrobe changes before I actually head out the door to sweat profusely in the very outfit that I worked so hard to put together.

Honestly, I am not quite sure on whom I am dressing for. If you know me, you know (and truly believe) that I am not a diva. Part of (most of) it is comfort driven. As primitive as running is, I like my outfits to be just as primal... less is more, if you will. I feel most comfortable with as little clothing as possible. Lightweight everything. Now, I am no running supermodel (or hoe) so I prefer to keep my shirt ON and keep the shorts at a reasonable length. But, I hate baggy, flowy things that get in my way or hold me back (drag).

As a runner, I am quite demanding of both my clothes and the running conditions. I have to be comfortable and the weather has to be accomodating. If the weather is not cooperating, I have to go to the gym and God forbid, I forget any of my gym necessities (water bottle, towel to wipe my face and cover the time, and iPod). Then the event is just a bust. Outside running, I am much more forgiving of my accessories but... the weather must be perfect.

So, as a performance wear critic... there are a number of traits that I look for in running gear.(There are a lot of technical Under Armour-esque terms for all these attributes but I am breaking it down. No need to talk about wicking or coolmax.)

Socks: I really like thin running socks (I have varieties from Brooks, Nike, SmartWool). They have to be thin and they have to be running socks (yes, there IS a difference).

Shoes: Well, I must admit... I never truly bought into the value of a quality running shoe until I caved in and went to a specialty running store to get fitted. Before I went to the store, I was not afraid to spend money on running sneakers, but I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for... what sort of support I needed and, I was battling an achilles tendon strain for quite a while. Well, turns out, I am an over-pronator and needed some additional oomph in my shoe. Once I got fitted (they watched me walk and run to assess my "gate" and then let me test-run a number of shoes on their in-store treadmill), I purchased a nice pair of Brooks (GTS) and 4 days later, my achilles was heeled. I shit you not.

Shorts: I love soft nylon shorts with built-in underwear. Its the only way I can ensure a wedgie-free run. (There is nothing more annoying than wearing wedgie-prone underwear while running.) The shorts also have to be lightweight and cut up (slit) on the sides to allow for optimum movement (and a sassy little leg show). Water resistant material helps for the days I run in a the rain or mist... but those days are rare.

Shirt: I am in a bit of a running shirt identity crisis right now. I can't decide what I am more comfortable in. A tank. A tee. A long sleeve. A beater. It really depends on my mood, the climate, and clean vs dirty. This is my biggest downfall in the "getting ready" process. I like loose but not too loose. I don't like sleeves that edge up into my armpits. I hate when the shirt inches up my midriff. I have a variety of cold gear and warm gear tops but basically, its a day to day decision.

Sportsbra: Any Under Armour sports bra is good in my book. Support, comfort, style (though NO one ever sees it hidden under whichever shirt I've decided on).

So, there you have it. This might be my one area of high-maintenance living but hell... its keeping me healthy and not hurting anyone so I ain't complaining.

I. am. old.

So I'd like to retract my entire Crunchy is Cool post from last week. I'd like to retract and revise... but I refuse to take it down because that is just unauthentic and not right. Its sort of like when someone tries to "recall" an email message. You can't take it back after you've sent it. Am I supposed to pretend I never read it? That is the DUMBEST email tool I have seen in the professional cyberworld.

I digress.

So, I am not going to remove that post even though I now feel sort of lame about it. I am braver than that and can admit that I have goofed... sort of. I guess its all a matter of speculation and taste.

Despite my own personal belief that crunchy IS in fact very cool, hip, chic, mod, etc... it was brought to my old ass attention this weekend that, I may be an anomaly. ORRRRR, what's worse and probably more likely is that crunchy is only cool for my generation... which no longer really matters in the world of fashion or trends.

Which means, I am OLD.

While strolling hip little Thayer Street in Downtown Providence (the fashion mecca of the world!) this weekend, I got the memo. Crunchy called to update me... said she wants her clogs back. I told her too bad... 1982 threw up all over them and then painted the town with a bunch of fluorescent, shoulder slinging, skinny jeans wearing, side ponytailing, Wayfarer wearing (yes, even at night) 19 year olds.

Dude. How did the 80s come back? I am sorry to offend those that adore(d) this era but I... I ... I want to burn all evidence that I existed during this time. Especially the photos. GOOD GOD. And the hair. The clothes. The music. GAH.

Crunchy is no longer cool. In and out before I even had time to take full advantage and show off all of my favorite merchandise.

Maybe I'll have to have a Crunchy Party. 80s Party is so... 2002.

Disconnected Sunday #2

Regarding this challenge of mine...

Yesterday went pretty well though, it was no MORE of a success than last week.

I woke up at the ass crack of dawn to escort Mel to the Sox Appeal casting call (which is entirely blog worthy in and of itself). I talked to her on Saturday to confirm plans, meeting time, etc so I would not have to call her on Sunday.

As Sunday is my long-run day, I was scheduled to run 8-9 miles and was going to attempt to do this totally iPod free and outdoors. Though she is not training for the half marathon, Mel is also a runner so I begged and pleaded with her to join me (promising that I would go at a reasonbale pace). She caved and agreed and we planned to run after the casting call... so I packed my running clothes.

Right on schedule on Sunday morning, I pulled out of the driveway, radio off, heading to Mel's for our 9:30am meeting time. I rounded the corner onto the main road, towards the highway... and realized, I forgot my running shorts. Crapass. Kind of necessary, right? So, I turned around and headed back to my house to grab the shorts... but I am neurotic about being on time so I had to call Melissa to let her know I was now going to be late but... at least I would not be running pantsless.

So - that was cheat #1. Long winded, I know.

The next 2 cheats came after the casting call. I HAD to call Kevin to share the details and let him know that we were running MUCH earlier than anticipated so I would be home at a relatively early hour. Cheat #2... necessary and not frivolous, whatsoever. All business.

Cheat #3 also all business. Another friend of mine is training for the half marathon and was eager to run with us on Sunday so... I called to give her the deets... to no avail. I left a voicemail. Again, an all business cheat.

The final cheat for the day is a big one but really... you won't argue with me when I say it was necessary.

Red Sox vs. Yankees at 8pm on ESPN. I resisted. I tried. I had all intentions of NOT watching it and just chilling out in our room, reading my book. But Kevin made it very difficult. As we were eating dinner, he pleaded with me and even offered to rub my shoulders for the entire game, if I would watch it with him. I may be determined but I am not a shithead. So, I watched 4 innings of the game while Kevin rubbed my feet (I bargained for feet over shoulders... I just ran 8.25 miles, my shoulders were FINE... it was the feet that needed it) and I eventually fell into a deep slumber.

SO - yet again, not entirely disconnected but... more so than the usual.

All Hail April 25th

Its my birthday month. Yes, that is right, I get a whole month. One day is simply not enough. One week USED to be enough... but I believe, the older I get, the more time I am entitled to celebrate my life... and to force celebration upon others. And, how would I ever fit 7 cakes into ONE day? Last year, during my birthday month, I was granted with 7 separate, and very different birthday cakes, all presented with the appropriate song, of course.

Happy Birthday to me, yada yada.

Now let's eat some year-old cake...
The first was with my in-laws, celebrating at our home, the weekend BEFORE my birthday. Carvel ice cream cake, one of my all time favorites... the crunchies get me everytime.

The second was on my birthday eve while out with my former employer and a client at a high-brow, bottled-water-mandatory, place in Providence. After our 12 courses, they brought me a honking piece of chocolate cake with chocolate goop and chocolate frosting. Too bad I don't like chocolate. But the thought was sweet and I indulged for the sake of my 28th year.

The third was at my soccer game the day after my birthday. It has become a ritual for the core group of the team to celebrate each other's birthdays with a cake of some sort and the Dollar Store grab bag, full of surprise treasures such as lone hair elastics, glow sticks, loose candy, unwrapped lip gloss, hair nets, and other delectable treats. For my 28th, M made me a funfetti cake (super fun) and the entire team joined in song to toast to moi. Cheers!

The fourth was at my former office with my former team. Friendly's ice cream cake with a crap load of blue goop that turned my lips, tongue, and fingers blue. Awesome to be 28, in a professional atmosphere, covered in blue sugar... celebrating my birthday.

The fifth was during my Tennis Hoe and Golf Pro themed birthday bash. Mel brought a super duper huge Carvel ice cream cake for the 20 or so tennis hoes and golf pros. They all sang, I danced... we at cake.

The sixth was ALSO during my Tennis Hoe/Golf Pro birthday party. M made yet another cake for me... a chocolate chip cookie cake with white and black frosting! What did I do to deserve friends like this? The memory of the song, dance, and eating of this particular cake is very fuzzy (if at all...) but thanks to pictures (as "tipsy" as I was, I managed to take over 200 pictures - no joke!), I know that I enjoyed this one immensely (and found chocolate frosting EVERYWHERE in my house, the next day).

The seventh and final birthday cake was delivered a week after my actual birthday, while out to dinner with my family. Tiramisu. My FAVORITE. And what a way to end one of the most fabulous birthday months ever.

Two weeks to go until my 29th birthday. Friends - you've set the bar very high... how will you ever keep it up? Just kidding. I don't expect such a showing this year. ONE cake will suffice. Next year, I am going to need all the cake I can get... to get through the turnover into my 4th decade.

Happy almost birthday to me and all my friends... (me and Al Pacino will be celebrating together.)

Next week, I will pay tribute to my favorite Google returns for an April 25th search.

Going Up?

Last night, I had a dream that I was at a hotel in NYC for a work event. While on a mission to get some dry erase markers (random!), I got into an elevator with about 4-5 other people, none of whom I knew. Just as soon as the elevator started to propel upwards, she clunked and stopped.

Lovely.

I was trapped in an elevator.

If you know me well enough, you know that in real life, I am petrified of elevators and will, most often, choose the stairs to go up as many as 10 floors. I get extremely chlosterphobic and the idea that this little box, somehow suspended, is safely transporting people up and down, all day, all night... just does not fly with me... and that little certificate of approval (coincidentally located somewhere around all those panicky red buttons) is generally dated YEARS back. Ugh.

Just the thought makes my stomach turn.

I know it is completely mind over matter. I've never been locked in an elevator. In all my 28 years (almost 29). And, I've rarely heard of many death-by-elevator incidents (please don't share if you know any). So I know, rationally, I will be ok and it will only be a matter of minutes and probably no more than an hour before we are "rescued". BUT, when inside... it is hard for me to reason or rationalize. (What's really funny is that I am always more comfortable if I have some sort of snack and beverage with me. I am appeased knowing that I won't starve, I guess.)

But on this occasion, in my dream, just as I was about to go into total meltdown mode, praying for salvation... there was a girl in the elevator who went ghostly white as soon as it stopped. I could feel my heart racing with fear as well but instead of crumbling to the ground in shear panic... saying my goodbyes, my I love yous, etc... I looked at her and said...

"This happens all of the time in NYC." (convincing her... and myself.)

"It does?" (The panic on her face subsided... a little.)

"Yea... this is one of the busiest cities in the world... these elevators get tired." (What in the hell was I talking about... maybe I was truly tired, in my sleep state.)

Our conversation proceeded to some mumbo jumbo about how long and what will happen and what not... not entirely clear at this point... dream mish mosh.

BUT... the point is. I did not panic (on the outside) and we did not die. GO ME! The sane one? C'MON! That is just unlikely... but ya know how sometimes dreams affect you in real life? Like, if you have a dream that your husband, friend, significant other, etc was pissing you off in some respect, you wake up with some resentment towards them? (Or... is that just me?) Anyway, I am entirely hopeful that my fear has subsided a little... I'll let you know next time I get in an elevator.

Now, if I only could figure out how to get over my fear of frogs. Life would be fantastic.

(And thank you Miss Corwin for inspiring my dream with your phobic post!)

Crunchy is Cool

Have you noticed?

I remember in high school, 12 years ago, while donning wool clogs and my LL Bean puffy vest (which I still own and wear today), Crunchy was sort of under the radar and scoffed at by the popular crew. (I think it was actually typecast as Granola Cruncher back then.)

I mean, crunchy has been around for a while with the whole hippie generation and what not. But, I am talking modern day, generation x crunchy. Only cool to a sub-culture who over indulged in wool sweaters, vegetarianism, hookas, stringy long hair (dreadlocks for some), shoeless jaunts, cloves, hemp, reggae, the beach, impromptu festivals, and patchouli oil. I was happy to be quasi crunchy (one who showers and only dabbles in some elements of crunchy) - I rebelled against meat, high-maintenance anything, Jennifer Anniston hairstyles, makeup, and the mod or uber preppy look. I was not full on granola but I was more crunchy than anything else, I guess.

[Aside: I also teetered in skater. Posing my way through that phase... though, I did shave my head and I TRIED to skateboard for a short stint... I was HORRENDOUS. But the style was cute... little tees, BIG BIG jeans. (Identity crisis at her finest.)]

Now, thanks to the Sienna Millers, Kate Hudsons and other Boho Chic trendsetters (Eric Nies?), Crunchy, my friends, is cool. I realize this pop culture trend started quite a few years ago but... I guess I am sort of surprised it has stuck around this long. I mean, I am in favor... I like that it is acceptable to look like a raggamuffin, really. Though, the authentication of crunchy celebs has yet to be proven. Clearly, they pay uber amounts for their hippie clothing and product that makes their hair look stringy...

My (Quasi) Secular Sabbath...

It was somewhat of a success. It WAS DEFINITELY NOT EASY. (I think not drinking might have been easier... maybe.) Kevin was really supportive and actually somewhat excited at the idea. So, he agreed to keep all tech in the off position... until 1pm when the Red Sox were playing and I planned to hit the gym to fend off all temptation to watch the game.

I decided to keep my phone on. My sister is home recovering from surgery and I knew that my family would forget this first Sunday so I wanted to assure that everyone was A-OK. (I think phone on may be an ammendment to the rule... I won't answer or reply to texts, but I'll check my VM and read my texts in the event that there IS an emergency.)

The morning was rather uneventful. Soccer was cancelled so we met M for breakfast, read the paper, and just lounged around. It was quiet. I missed music. A lot.

My Mom called sometime during the morning so I made Kevin call her back and remind her of my challenge (which I am quite convinced no one really understands).

Cheat 1...
I am training for a half marathon and Sunday is the long-run day so I had to run 7 miles which I was excited about, save for the fact that it was miserable outside and I HAD to go to the gym to complete the task. Let me tell you... 7 miles on a treadmill... IS ROUGH. SO, if there was any chance of having a partner to run with, I welcomed it... but this meant I had to text Mel... to no avail. This now meant I had to hit the gym and run 7 miles... WITHOUT my iPod. GHASP.

The longest ride EVER...To get to the gym, I drove 25 minutes without using the radio or cell phone... this, my friends, was like a smoker getting into the car and not lighting up. I was shaking. I needed a fix. I belted out "Preacher's Son" and "Alone", restarting over and over until I found the right key and sang my little heart out, trying to quench the urge to hit the on button on the radio. It was a long ass 25 minutes. BUT I made it.

Cheat by Association...I could do nothing about the row of 10-15 TVs that were directly in front of me while on the treadmill. I certainly wasn't about to close my eyes... I have a hard enough time not flying off with my eyes OPEN. So, as much as I tried not to pay attention, I did watch a bit of the Sox game. Really, what was I supposed to do? So I watched long enough to see the grand slam that put the Blue Jays 6 runs ahead. GAH.

Cheat 2...I ran 4 miles without my iPod but I made a bargain with myself that if I got to 4 miles without incident then I would allow myself to put the iPod on. And when I got to 4, I am not sure I really needed it but... it did help me plow through the last 3 miles.

Euphoria... The ride home was quiet. I was coming down from my run, a little energized, a little lethargic. I had the urge to call Kevin and see if he was ready to hit the grocery store (our Sunday afternoon ritual) but I resisted... riding in total silence. I don't think I even peeped one word to myself.

Evening hours... After our venture to the grocery store and some quiet time reading, Kevin played PlayStation in silence while I continued to read. I read and read and read... and I desperately wanted to watch a movie. I made popcorn to simulate but it was just not the same.

Cheat 3... My sister had not called all day and I was somewhat uncomfortable not hearing from her so, I called her just before bed. All was well. She actually sounded the best she has sounded. That was a worthwhile cheat.

The end of Day 1... Being that it was pretty crappy outside, Day 1 was a struggle for me. There was not much else to do other than read... which I love but... I am also a tad ADD so I was a little bit anxious all day. I am not going to beat myself up about the cheats. I believe they were necessary and did not really ruin the principle of this challenge. I will pursue an entirely removed day at some point over the course of this challenge but all in all, Day 1 was a success.

My Two Minute Hate

I generally try to be the eternal optimist and push negativity out of my life but every so often, I go glass-is-half-empty and admit to things I loathe.

I hate being late.

I hate walking in the grass at night (because I am afraid of frogs... though I do not hate them).

I hate black olives.

I hate the sound of people chewing or eating.

I hate Meatloaf (the singer, not the food... I love meatloaf the food).

I hate unnecessary roughness.

I hate license plates that say dorky things... like most in New Hampshire.

I hate sleeping through the morning.

I hate dead batteries.

I hate raw fish.

I hate litter.

I hate folding laundry (and putting it away).

I hate money (its a love hate).

I hate fake.

I hate impatience.

I hate cold, dry, dreary days.

I hate lack of motivation.

I hate the end.

Going off the grid...

Sunday marks the first day of my second challenge of the year and I've received a lot of reasonable speculation and questions from friends and family so I just want to clarify some things.

-> Dates: The challenge starts on Sunday, April 6th and goes 8 consecutive Sundays through June 1st. (June 8th, I resume over stimulation.)

-> Time: I will be shutting down all tech toys starting at 12am on Sunday (Saturday night) and not powering on until after 11:59pm on Sunday night... most likely, I'll be asleep.

-> By association: If someone in my house is watching TV, listening to the radio, talking on the phone, etc, I simply remove myself from that room. Like I said, I cannot impose MY challenges on others.

-> Soccer: I will make sure to let the team know the night before if I cannot make it for some reason. (I think I can only make 4 on the schedule.) And, I'll bring my cell phone (in the off position) in the event that I get lost but... I've been playing for quite a while now... I think I know where all the fields are. (I think.)

-> Emergencies (or baby births): In the event of an emergency (or special announcement), to the best of my knowledge, Kevin is NOT participating in the challenge, so call him. (Or, call the house phone non-stop... I'll get the point and pick up.)

This is MY challenge with my rules therefore I get to set the standards and determine what is or is not acceptable. But, I am pretty disciplined and like to stick to a challenge. I could've easily (believe me) had a drink or two during the sobriety challenge but, to me, that was against the rules and... I am not a rule breaker. Unfortunately. ;)

Addicted to Streaking

The end of my 2 months of sobriety was a couple of weeks ago. You'd think that I would've been ecstatic to jump off the wagon and race to the nearest bar, salivating as if I just marathoned through the Sahara. Well, part of me was eager to have a drink, get back to "normal", and move on to my next challenge.

But, most of me was extremely reluctant and somewhat apprehensive.

First, the decision of what to drink was way more complex than I had anticipated. Did I want wine, beer, vodka, a fru fru drink, wine... vodka? Vodka won. (It always does.) However, even after I decided the poison of choice, I was still nervous about reacquainting myself with booze.

See, it was like a break in a relationship. Not breaking UP, but just taking a break. I knew the relationship was not good for me but the thrill of it all kept me involved. But, once I stepped away and realized I could actually survive without him, I was reluctant to get involved again. But, really... why not? We never fought. We always have a good time together. He's damn sexy. And he is always there for me. How could I not go back to him?

The thing is, I've come to realize that... I am sort of addicted to running up these long streaks of habits or behaviors.

For instance, on 1/1/2006, Kevin and I gave up eating fast food (with some exceptions, Subway, Dunkin Donuts... basically, we gave up McDonalds, Wendys, Burger King, KFC, Taco Bell... the places where they offer nothing even remotely healthy). We wanted to completely abstain from it for 1 full year but when we approached 1/1/2007, it became clear that we really didn't miss it and were not ready to stop the fast. So, its been well over 2 years. And, more so than being healthy and not eating fast food, I love having that little record.

I am also addicted to things like going to the gym for a number of consecutive days... I am not crazy so I do take breaks but I get totally psyched when I have gone 5-6 days in a row.

Same thing with classes and soccer... I am addicted to maintaining perfect attendance. (I only wish I had such devotion in school. But hey, better late than never.)

I thoroughly enjoy running these little tallies so, as the 2 month mile-marker of my non-drinking bender approached, I was extremely apprehensive, perplexed with thoughts of going the distance, taking it another month. I knew once I got back into it, once I took that first sip, I'd be in love again. Relationship on. Break over.

Ultimately, what won over was a business trip - it is a rite of passage to kick off trips with a toast with colleagues. I'd be rude to pass up the opportunity... and I did not want to even hint on the idea that I might be preggo. That would just open a whole can of unnecessary speculation... drink up!

I am happily drinking again. In moderation, of course. But part of me was very sad to see my streak end... chances are, I'll never run up that tally on my own free will again.

I've got a fever... and the only prescription is... SPRING!!!

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Little darlin' it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darlin' it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

Wishful thinking, dreaming of sunshine, while paying tribute to the Beatles... and Brooke White who pretty much murdered that song on American Idol a couple of weeks ago... while dancing flagrantly around the stage. (At least she is cute.)

Soooo, Mother Nature, I have a question for you oh dear, dear spirit... commander of climate and environment, WHERE IN THE SAM HILL IS THE SPRING?

I had a bittersweet taste of sunshine and summer while in Florida last month. And, my return home to lovely New England reminded me that I am sort of depressed and SO SICK OF WINTER, SLOSH, AND GRAY. The gray is what really gets me.

In Florida, it was 80 degrees and sunny... I could not take my sunglasses off... the brightness was amazingly refreshing.

We went to the beach. Thats right, I said THE BEACH. It was blissful. I put my feet in the water... anticipating my apendages to instantly freeze and snap off of my body... BUT it was actually quite pleasant so I walked a great distance, in the shore, soaking up the smell, the sun, the feeling of warmth. (Thinking of this memory as I look out my window unto the dull skyline, the barren trees, and the mucky brown lawn fills my body with warmth... and hope.)

At the beach, I wore sun block because I know, I know... skin cancer, moles, sun burns, yada yada yada. I know, I know. I know the harm that can come from being a sun addict but frankly, I can't help myself. I know there are some nutritional and biological reasons that the sun makes me feel good and though I am not entirely clear on what those are, what I do know is that winter and all of its slushy gray what-the-hell glory 100% sucks.

To me, nothing feels greater than the pink glow of a little too much sun.

I absolutely hate March. Its this obnoxious flux period... and its notoriously a letdown. Each year, I have so much hope for March because technically... its spring. Each day, I go outside and hope to be greeted by the new warmth of a spring morning... NOT SO FREAKING MUCH. Instead, I am bitch slapped with a frigid blast of cold air and I retreat back inside to grab my winter jacket and hat and scarf and ...UGH!

But hey, its April now... no joke!!! Mother Nature, bring on the heat, the sun, the flowers, the allergies, the LIFE! I beg of you.