A New Motivation

As I was running the other day, trucking along, wishing it would end almost as soon as the run began, I led my thoughts to a new perspective. I began dissecting why we run, why I run - wondering what truly motivates me? At the surface, its easy to say that I like to be healthy and I enjoy the challenge. But at the core, there are influencers much more powerful than the obvious factors.

Fear. I am afraid of having a heart attack. I am afraid of becoming obese. I am afraid of the potential ramifications of NOT running. Fear gets my butt out of bed (sometimes).

Ego. I'm so vain... you probably think this blog is about me. Turns out, IT IS. The point is - I believe we are all motivated by our ego. I think that is a rather obvious and conclusive statement? We have to maintain or create our identity. I am a firm believer that man is inherently and unequivocally selfish and that [almost] every act we do is for our own benefit in some capacity. I know there are a lot of people who would argue this (the hub and I duke this out every now and then) and I appreciate both sides. Actually, I would prefer to believe that truly selfless, altruistic people or acts exist... however, IMHO I just can't justify it. Even the simplest acts of kindness seem innately selfish.

Vanity and fear aside, there is a new driving force in my life - Lillian. As I was painfully, reluctantly running, I thought about how important it is for us to provide Lilly with all of the resources for her to lead as healthy a lifestyle as she chooses. We won't be able to MAKE her active or MAKE her eat healthy forever - but I don't want her to ever look back and wonder why we weren't more considerate of our health, and hers. For as far back as she can remember, I want her to always see her parents as healthy and active people. It is our "job" to provide her with the knowledge and encouragement to be healthy; and to do so through demonstration (not just preaching) by eating healthy and maintaining an active life. I don't want to "force feed" her this, I just want to show her through our everyday lives. (There is something to be said for that whole "learn by doing", montessori philosophy.)

This seems obvious, I know. But as a new parent, it did not come with the manual. And its not that my parents did not provide this model for me - both of my parents maintain VERY active lives (Mom's a Y junkie and Dad's a Weight Watchers leader). Its just another realization that I've had as a Mom. And with the plethora of knowledge at our disposal, there is NO excuse for us not to promote a healthy lifestyle. It is a civic duty. We owe it to Lilly to always opt for the run or the getting outside over sleeping in or watching TV.
This realiztion was an awakening of sorts. As I was running and thinking, running and thinking... I became consumed with fun thoughts of introducing Lilly to the road racing, hiking, sports, and "whole foods" communities. I had visions of taking her to farmer's markets and road races, soccer games and the beach.

The rest of my run flew by.

I. am. back.