Suck it In

My maternity leave is dwindling down and I am scheduled to return to work in about two weeks. Aside from being sad to leave my little chica and get back to the grind, I am also frustrated by the idea that I have to buy new clothes to do so... because I am just a hair shy of fitting into my pre-preggo clothes. Most of my shirts fit, though the button downs get a little snug near the milk factory. And, I could probably lay on the bed and shimmy myself into my pants but... I'd be muffin topping as soon as I stood up. Not really a look I'd like to rock. Besides, there is nothing more that I hate than being uncomfortable and feeling like my clothes are too small.

NORMALLY, shopping would be an exciting event - but this occasion has me frustrated and feeling rather self conscious. I just want to shed that extra girth... I need to.

To help my cause, I've been running 3 times per week and I am feeling pretty good about it. I definitely feel the waistline trimming down. I'd like to up the ante in distance and speed a bit but haven't made the committment yet. Its only been 2 weeks and I want to get comfortable with 3-4 miles before going crazy. I have decided that I am going to use my lunch hour at work to get a good run in (we have showers in-house!). Otherwise, I am not sure I'll make the time because any second I am not working, I'll want to hang with my fam.

On the diet front, I haven't really been able to eat all that healthy due to the fact that we've been kitchenless for over 2 months, living amongst a complete kitchen remodel. Our makeshift kitchen consists of 2 dorm fridges, a toaster oven, and microwave... seems like enough of a kitchen to eat healthy, right? Well, that is NOT THE CASE. We have zero counter space and have to wash dishes in the bathroom sink so preparing meats and vegetables is NOT easy or safe. So we've been surviving primarily on take out and we all know how hard it is to eat healthy (and cheaply) with take out. And you know how when you're already eating rather unhealthily, you seem to spiral into an entirely unhealthy diet? Yea, how about eating cookies and ice cream like everyday? Oye.

So, this week, I will make the voyage to le department store... to find some decent looking clothes for my heffalumpy self. And, next week our kitchen will be done. And the week after that, I return to work and hopefully can regulate this out of control eating that I have going on.

Until then, the cookie dough is calling...

Mommy-isms

In my 8 plus weeks of being a Mom, I have come to learn some of the rites of passage that I never even knew existed.

- When out in public, there seems to be some code to say hello to fellow mothers - I frequently get smiles or nods from other moms that I have never received before (at first, I found myself turning to look behind me to see who the other person was smiling at...). Its sort of like the Jeep community (which I must admit I think is sort of lame - though I LOVE Jeeps!). Other mothers smile at each other, acknowledging that we have this common denominator.

- My "denominator" is cuter than any other denominator out there. No contest. (There could be the world's most beautiful child in the other mother's arms/carriage/cart, and my Lilly will STILL be cuter.)

- I am still not okay with the whole breastfeeding in public thing. I have one of those fantastic tent thingies and still... I don't want to make people uncomfortable. It doesn't weird me out to see other moms doing it but I know some people have a tough time with it so I don't want to disrupt their outting.

- People love to offer their opinions, suggestions, or their hand and sometimes, it is unwelcome and borderline inappropriate. Appropriate: Today a woman offered to help me with my groceries - I was quite capable and so I respectfully declined... assuring her I have learned to manage. It was very sweet. Inappropriate: last week, I was at the grocery store with Lilly in the Bjorn. She LOVES the Bjorn and almost immediately falls asleep in the thing. Its great for shopping because I can take my time knowing she is content as can be. However, another shopper thought she looked too content and came rushing over to me to make sure the baby was alive. Seriously! After assuring her that I can handle the well being of my own child, she was on her merry way... but I was stewing. I appreciate her concern but do I look inept? Would I not know if my baby were alive when strapped as tight as can be to my body? I am sure it was intended to be kind but it came off entirely wrong. And while shopping, someone (little old women especially) always comments on how she must be so cold. If I let them touch her (keep your grubby hands off!), they would feel how warm she actually is. Some people.

- Speaking of grubby... I have come to learn that some moms are more neurotic than others. I am in the not too neurotic camp. Gone are the days that everyone has to sterlize fingertip to elbow before they come near the baby. I am not exactly dipping her in the germ pool but I am a believer that kids need to build their immune systems so you can't keep them in a bubble. A squirt of purell and we're good to go.

In other news...
- BIG NEWS: I am running again. It ain't pretty and it ain't easy but I am determined. I am a bit nervous as to how I will keep it up once I go back to work (4 weeks, gulp!) because I imagine I won't want to take an hour out of my evening to run when I could spend it with my litte puka. Perhaps investing in a treadmill is in my near future.

- Running after pregnancy is like starting all over again. SLOW AND STEADY. And... I want to have a tee shirt made that says "Don't judge me; I just gave birth!" because I know there are runners driving by me (or passing by me on foot) that are thinking "Man, she looks like she is about to keel over!". But hey, I AM OUT THERE DOING IT and before you know it, I am going to be a runner again.

I leave you with this...
Lilly watching her boy Brady... the girl has good taste (in teams AND men)!

On Motherhood

I was made for motherhood. Naturally. I suppose all women are but really, I've never felt more suited for a job than I do being a mom. Its the most fulfilling experience ever.

Before I had Lillian, everyone kept telling me that parenthood was an indescribable feeling... and its absolutely true. No one could ever prepare me for how much I would love the little girl in my life. There are no words big enough to capture how I feel about her. She is everything... simply everything. Love, devotion, admiration, adoration, infatuation... I love her larger than any of that.

Not to mention, Lilly has been an absolutely amazing baby from the start. She has the sweetest disposition and really only fusses when necessary (hungry, tired, dirty diaper). Generally, she just chills. AND we feel so fortunate to be blessed with a baby who likes to sleep 4-6 hours through the night and will occasionally go a full 6-8 hour stretch. Its been like this since night 2 (night 1 was ROUGH!) and I've never had to get up more than once per night with her since (knock on wood!). So parenthood has been quite easy on me - from my amazing pregnancy to a relatively easy delivery (despite the longass induction, the actual pushing part was a breeze) to now, life with an awesome 7 week old - I am LOVING life more than I ever imagined.

We are in our new house - our very own home - and are living amongst a complete kitchen remodel... and a million boxes. But, life couldn't be better! I am starting to get back into the fitness groove! We've been walking nearly everyday (sometimes twice!) and I am feeling awesome. I just can't wait to get out and run one of these days! Our new neighborhood has a running group that runs together 3 times per week... I am so psyched!

While it may seem that I've abandoned my blog all together, I have actually been spending some of my time on a different track. See... we're not all that comfortable unleashing photos and videos of our little one on the mass interwebs so we've started a password protected blog to keep a log of Lilly's daily antics. But, I plan to keep up over here on the motherhood aspects... because, well, this is my zone and I have a feeling that I won't have many spaces I can call my own in a few months! I'll throw in the occasional Lilly picture here and there. ;) Like here...


Meanwhile, the baby is hungry... motherhood calls...